Our love for belongingness

We all have this innate sense of belongingness. We start belonging to our mother even before entering the world. And when we enter this world, our family provides that sense of belongingness to us. We find comfort in our homes surrounded by our immediate family members. Our world further expands when we step out of our homes for our kindergarten and make friends. And gradually our circle keeps growing. 

No matter whether one is an introvert or extrovert, we always look for that circle where we can feel comfortable being ourselves. A circle where you are appreciated and loved for who you are. 

Talking about today's times, the way we are interacting is changing phenomenally. We are stepping out of our homes, leaving our cities to study or work at a much earlier stage with limited connection to our primary circle of belongingness. Our longing for that circle where we don't have to prove something, which we all normally need to do in our corporate life, is growing more than ever. Our friendships are not limited to people of our age-groups but we are rather finding communities of interest to belong to. Yes, the circle of belongingness where we connect with our interest as the focal point. We feel more comfortable with a bunch of strangers yet like-minded people with whom we can discuss books, try new baking recipes, go on treks, talk about photography, learn about the new art forms, maybe run together or just have conversations around the topics that we may not find common even with our age-old friends or work colleagues. 

Being an ambivert, I have an innate liking for communities or small relatable groups. I am quite comfortable with travelers, artists, readers, or people following their real calling. And this liking is totally reflected in organizations I volunteered for (EntrepreneurCafe, The Goodwill Tribe, Green People) or the initiatives that I am part of (enTRIPreneur, Project Shoonya). 

I took a deep dive and found some reasons why I like these kinds of circles/communities/groups or whatever you want to call them. I am bad at small talks but when I am in a circle of my interest, I found that the conversations are not forced rather it flows naturally. As the circle keeps rejuvenating with new members it also keeps diluting the difference between an amateur and an expert that makes everyone equally comfortable. Not knowing things are appreciated in this kind of circle. Nobody competes to be perfect rather every one collaborates to share, learn, or just enjoy the feeling of belongingness that circle offers. And a person like me can totally feel happy in this kind of setting. 

How I found my circle?

I love understanding the process of creation or just seeing it. A part of me always desires to create art and pursue a hobby. I can watch those pottery or ceramic video for hours. Meeting a creator puts a different kind of smile on my face. I adore their down-to-earth nature and the way they find the flow of their life in the creative process.

So I was actually trying to meet creative folks from my city and have those set of friends with whom I could just sit in the evenings and create something together. Just to try things out, I randomly posted on my Facebook profile for a weekly art-meetup.

Voila! We had our first meet-up after a week of this post that was joined by 10-12 people. And I am loving the way it is growing organically since then (Feb 2019).

Jaipur Creative Commune is now a growing family of 300+ creators and learners. Our monthly offline meet-ups do rejuvenate me and make me feel blessed to have a circle of creators and learners to belong to. We have all sorts of creators - bakers, photographers, musicians, painters, writers, paper artists, calligraphers, portrait artists, upcycling and DIY artists, and more joining us every single day.

How to find your circle?

• Go to the places/events where you can find people with similar interests as yours.

• Volunteer for organizations working in similar interests as yours.

• Start with an online search on Facebook Groups, Meetup, LinkedIn, or similar networking platforms. 

• Try to join the selected communities' offline meetups or talk to the founder of that group to find the vibe of the group.

• If you have found a relevant online group with no offline meet-ups, volunteer to take the lead for your city for offline meet-ups.

What did I learn while leading a community?

• It's certainly not an easy thing but it's a fun thing to do. You meet a lot of people sharing a similar interest to yours and get to learn so many new things. For me, this serves as a fuel to keep doing it voluntarily without any monetary benefits. 

• Make sure you personally connect to that common interest of the community. You certainly can't run a community of travelers if you personally don't like traveling.

• When you start, you are a group of few people who personally know each other but as you grow there will be new people whom you may not be knowing personally. So at this stage, it's important to set basic guidelines while keeping the warmth of the group intact. You may need to act as a moderator initially but try to shift the role to other members.

• Sharing and equality should remain the key and guidelines can ensure that.

• Starting is the easiest thing but continuity and self-sustainability is the hardest thing. Make sure that you organize one thing or the other at least once a month. Also when you grow as a community there would be certain inevitable costs that you would be incurring. Don't spend that from your own pocket but let everyone contribute to it.

Find your tribe or Create one :)

Thanks for all the love showered till now. It surely motivates me to write more. I can totally sense a circle being created with this blog where I am comfortable sharing my vulnerabilities and listening to yours. Virtual Hugs XO

Did you felt the sense of belongingness after joining any community or did you started a community? Share your story in the comments. 

PS: The two cute little kids belong to two of my decade-old circle of friends whose kids are busy creating their circle.