Loving Someone ≠ Losing Yourself
I've always been a hopeless romantic, someone, who dreamt of finding a lifelong partner as a childhood friend. However, life's mysterious twists and turns seem to have charted a different path for me.
Still, I genuinely hope that I've reached the end of my lessons when it comes to romantic love because it’s too difficult to see a favourite person turning into a life lesson. Sharing some of the lessons that I have learnt from my journey in the realm of romantic love :
Love isn't some fantasized version of how you envision the other person will grow emotionally and mentally. It's about seeing them for who they are in the present moment, imagining them remaining that way forever, and asking yourself, "Can I love this person for a lifetime?"
Love isn't about codependency. Healthy relationships are created by two strong and complete individuals who can even exist without each other. It's about giving each other space to explore their individuality and pursuing activities they love with the people they enjoy being around.
Love isn't anxiously clinging to someone simply because it's difficult for you to be alone. Saying, "I miss you and hope to be with you soon" is different from saying, "How could you leave me alone and be happy with your friends and family?" It's about fostering a healthy and committed relationship that provides a space for you to be your authentic self, where you can open up and express yourself without fear or judgment.
Love isn't about doing anything to keep your partner happy. It's about setting healthy boundaries that also bring you happiness, and effectively communicating those boundaries to your partner while respecting their needs in the relationship.
Love isn't giving up on your own aspirations and personal growth. Being in love with someone should never hinder your journey of self-discovery and self-improvement.
Love is more than just hearing words. It's about truly listening, not to reply, but with a genuine desire to understand the other person. Along my path, I've come to a realization: communication alone is not the key; it's the comprehension that infuses meaning into our conversations. It's what makes communication truly worthwhile between two individuals.
Love is a lot about trust, the kind of trust that assures you your needs won't be compromised to fulfil theirs. It's not about someone demanding, "Hey, I love you! You can do this much for me."
For me, love is rooted in friendship, and that's why I've always yearned for a partner with whom I could have grown up.
I don't think love can ever be measured. It's a beautiful emotion that can be felt and expressed. But if I were to measure it, I would measure it by the peace and calmness it brings into my life. If it fails to do so, then it's merely an illusion that will fade over time.
Take care.