Navigating the 'I Don't Know' Phase
I've been sailing through this 'I don't know' phase for a long time now. It's been months, and almost half a year has gone by.
As someone who loves planning and having a sense of control, it has been tough to accept the uncertainty that life has thrown my way. I found myself constantly fearing the unknown, unsure of how to move forward. However, amidst this confusion, I've come to realize that every experience in life has a lesson to teach. This particular phase has taught me to approach my fears and uncertainties with curiosity rather than succumbing to fear itself.
We may be different in many ways, but as human beings, we share common emotions and experiences. With that in mind, I'd like to share a few things that have been helping me navigate this phase, in the hopes that it might provide support to someone reading this blog.
I've learned to surrender. I now believe that whatever happens to me is ultimately for my own good. Life has a way of working out in unexpected ways, even when I can't see it at the moment. While it may sound philosophical, I've come to understand that I cannot control every event in my life, despite my best efforts. Instead, I choose to observe these events as they unfold, without attaching any narratives or stories to them. This allows me to be open to change and adapt as needed.
When we hit rock bottom, our minds often fill with self-doubt and negativity. To counteract this, I've taken the time to reflect on my past achievements. By shifting my focus to all the positive things I've accomplished, I've been able to silence my negative self-talk (most of the time). A mental health professional once told me, "Buy my belief until you have your own that you will get through this phase." I bought that and gathered strength inside me to slowly get back on track.
I now quit what's not working for me. And it is not something that comes naturally to me, as I tend to become attached to people, places, things, and the comfort of familiarity. Now I allow myself to be a quitter without associating guilt or shame with quitting. I understand that not everything is for me, and I am not for everything. I am gradually trying to let things go.
Sometimes, we need to remember to just be. I came across a quote that resonated deeply with me: "We are human beings, not human doings." This phase of my life is not solely about constantly doing things; it's about being present for myself with the utmost compassion. It's about engaging in activities that nourish my soul, such as reading, writing, painting, disconnecting from technology, going for walks or runs, meditating, exploring crafts and arts, visualizing my emotions, watching pottery videos, spending hours at bookstores, treating myself to ice cream or chocolate, and allowing myself to feel lost. I've also realized that I often tie my self-worth to my professional achievements and income, which leads to unnecessary stress when I'm not earning. I'm learning to shift my perspective and value my inner qualities more.
Instead of running away from or distracting myself from my emotions, I now allow myself to feel them fully. I embrace them without judgment, just as a nurturing parent would comfort a hurting child. I take the time to understand the underlying messages behind these feelings. Sometimes, I simply sit with them and let them pass, even if it means shedding a few tears along the way.
I also feel grateful that I am resourceful. I can reach out for support from my family and friends. I can rely on my past investments to sail through these times.
This phase of my life may not be the best one, but it is a time of tremendous self-discovery and inner growth. I am gathering the courage to steer my life in a direction that aligns more closely with my soul.
Do you find yourself resonating with this phase? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments about how you navigate through these uncertain times.
Take care.