What do you really want?

Apr 04, 2020

We sometimes think that we don't have what we want. But most of the time we don't know what we want. Sounds familiar?

I met a close friend of mine somewhere at the starting of this year. We were talking about how 2020 will be a wonderful year. And then she asked me - So what do you want to achieve in 2020? Ahh! The big questions of life. Being a short-term planner, I quickly scanned my brain and couldn't come up with more than five things. My friend asked me this question with one motive in mind. She wanted me to make a vision board. She told me about the power of the vision board and convinced me to make one.

I remember the time when she asked me this question was also the time when I was feeling a bit lost in my life. But this exercise made me think about this question more and more - Rachna, What do you really want?

The next day I sat in my workspace with calming music, paper, and a pen. I penned down every single goal (personal and professional) I wish to accomplish this year and came with amazing response from my heart and mind. I saw this quick video about how to make a vision board.

Then I collected a few pictures that resonate with each of my goals and also make me connect to it personally. I finally made it and stick it to a place where I can see it every day. Now whenever I feel confused about whether to do a task or not, I refer to my vision board and ask myself - Does doing this take me closer to any of my goals? If not then I should better skip it.

Of course, there are some goals for which I still don't know the path but I left those to the mystical power of vision board. Your vision board constantly tells your mind that you want these things. If we talk about this from a psychological perspective it happens because of a complex neural network called the reticular activating system (RAS)*. RAS acts as an attention filter. But for this to happen you should first tell your brain that Hey Brain! I love these things/persons/opportunities/interests, so you better filter things accordingly.

Ambiguity is the enemy of accomplishment. And I know it could be very tough to figure out what do you really want. So here are some ways that I personally used to find out my WHY.

How to find what do you really want?

I did this by imagining the kind of life that would make me happy. Then I tried writing the small things that I need for attaining my kind of happy life. I also used some of the suggested ways in books I read. The best book to refer to is Ikigai by Hectar Garcia and Francesc Miralles.

Here are some initial ways suggested by Marie Forleo in her book Everything is Figureoutable.

Write down anything that comes to mind that you'd like to change, start, stop, pursue, heal, transform, learn, experience, explore, become, create, or achieve.
Begin writing, 'What I really want is ... , "and then keep writing until you fill the page. Don't reread it yet. Do this exercise on a fresh sheet of paper for seven days. On the seventh day, read all of the pages you've written and circle what's most repeated.

Don't censor or edit anything at this stage. This is just a way to figure out what you want but you have to do a lot of filtration after this stage to figure out what do you really want?

I feel much more sorted with my vision board. I should also tell you that it has a mystical power and I can feel it every single day. I am thankful to my dear friend who suggested me to make my vision board. She literally forced me, pumped me every single day until I shared my vision board with her. And I thought I should encourage a few more people to make a vision board so here I am requesting you to make one. Though I am not an expert but can share whatever I have learned while making my vision board. Do reach out to me if you get stuck anywhere while making your vision board. Happy to help :)

Hope you are taking care of your heart and mind in these tough times.