I was sitting with my nephew a few days back. He is eleven years old and currently studying in the fifth standard.
We were talking something about his school, and then he showed me his school's WhatsApp group and the response by one of his teachers - "Performed badly", and then there were names of kids who got 'E' grades. For a moment I thought that if I were one of those kids who got such a critical response on a WhatsApp group, I would have felt so bad and this, in turn, might have lead to innumerable negative thoughts about myself and a further decrease in my performance.
I compared this with the response I got from a women-focused financial education WhatsApp group (WOW community) when I shared about the bad investments I did in the past as I lacked the understanding of choosing the right ones. Everybody supported me and shared how they made the mistakes too. I noticed that when I allowed myself to be vulnerable, it also opened the doors for other members in the group who in turn shared their bad investments stories. Even the community leader shared her bad investment story. And this conversation resulted in all of us learning about the wrong investments that we should avoid.
Unlike my nephew's school WhatsApp group where a kid might feel like giving up on his/her studies, I got positive energy to restructure my investment and start from scratch again. The responses served as a beautiful reminder to me that I am in a safe space. A space where I can be vulnerable and comfortably share my mistakes without being criticized. I couldn't imagine sharing this mistake of mine with random people or my acquaintances. Even if I get the courage to do so, I would be badly affected by responses like How can an educated person like you were tricked with bad investments? Why you were not cautious enough? You are a fool. And whatnot.
We are living in a hyper-competitive, hyper achieving, go-getter world where we aren't very comfortable sharing our mistakes or even believing that we did one. We all want to sound perfect and smart but that isn't the reality. We as human beings tend to fail. We learn from our mistakes and that how we have been brought up. Have you ever seen the toddler who is trying to take her first step? We clap for her when she walks a small distance or even tries standing for the first time. We don't do it because she is doing it perfectly. We do it because we know that it is those small steps that she is taking towards a lifetime of walking and running which is a bigger goal.
We all are stories in making. And each one of us is travelling our own journey from being to becoming. Have you ever seen a kid walking on the very first day? No, right. We can never start from being an expert. We always start from being an amateur who doesn't know everything but is keen to learn and in dire need of support and motivation. At this phase, we are mostly at the crossroads where we can either fall for the thought that we aren't good enough or we can create an ecosystem around us that motivates us to grow further.
I have experienced it at different phases of my life that communities have offered me that ecosystem. A community is much more than a random group of people. It's a group of people who share a common love for something and a sense of belongingness. Everyone in the community work towards creating a safe space, in this hyper achieving world, where you aren't judged for who you are but who you desire to become. Your work-in-progress is as loved as what you would make/become in the coming years. Your failures are as much appreciated as your small or big success. The yardstick for measuring your performance (if any) in a community is your constant commitment to learn and improve and support others. And it is this support that you get from others that constantly keeps motivating you to grow further. Remember the clap that a toddler hears when she starts to walk or even try walking.
Comparing to corporate structures where the objective is to gain profits, communities' core objective is to create safe spaces that support shared growth. Most of the communities I have been part of, I have seen that the community managers aren't the ones who thought of starting a community in the very first place. They just did it out of their sheer love for a goal/passion and found a few other folks sharing the same. And it's that sheer love that keeps the objective of the community intact. They are comfortable sharing their vulnerability of not knowing everything and reaching out to their tribe for suggestions every now and then. And that's how the concept of a safe place slowly builds up for any community. There is a comfort in knowing that it's OK to not know everything and reach out to people for help. No one in the community (including community manager) knows everything but everyone knows something which makes any community a perfect learning ground. It serves as a platform that allows you to comfortably travel your journey from being to becoming.
As an individual, I always look out for such spaces where I can be comfortably vulnerable whether it's a small inner circle or a community. And over a period of time, I have either volunteered for managing such initiatives or tried building such spaces (enTRIPreneur, Jaipur Creative Commune, and Project Shoonya). Do I know everything about managing communities? No. I am still on my journey from being to becoming and I am pretty comfortable telling you that.
Inviting you to these two things:
I am organizing Jaipur Creative Commune Community Meet next Sunday (11th Oct). It’s a community of creators and art enthusiasts who share the passion for creation. If you feel you belong to this community then feel free to join the meetup. It’s open for all.
My brother has started Jaipur Community Bookshelf to connect readers with book lenders and initiate the culture of reading. It’s an invite-only community. I am inviting you all to join if you are fond of reading or wish to start reading.
Your comments, likes, and personal messages do motivate me to keep writing. So keep them coming :)
PS: I asked my sister to talk to school authorities for their feedback system.
Amazing thoughts Rachna. Everybody running for nothing.
Such a beautiful post Rachho <3