How do you see yourself?

I have always heard people saying that I am a quiet person and in turn, I started telling others that Yes, I am a quiet person. But lately, I have started questioning myself, Am I really a quiet person?

I feel a part of who we become get defined by what people around us start telling us. We hear it again and again and start believing in a false notion about us. Our mind too starts justifying what we repeatedly hear. It starts finding reasons to make a coherent story that we can easily believe in. And all of this happens so automatically that we start believing in that false notion of us sooner than we can imagine. Here is a personal story to explain this.

I was never a chirpy person but did it made me an introvert person too. I think I started believing in this part because everyone around me just started telling others that I am normally quiet. I was also known as the person who can add one thing to any group, and that was silence. And I kind of start believing that by saying it to myself again and again, Yes, I am quiet, and Yes, that makes me an introvert.

Until today, I feel comfortable in small circles where I pretty much know the people around me. But does that make me an introvert person? I tried seeing it from another perspective and realized that no matter whether one is introvert or extrovert, we all want to belong to someone. We feel much relaxed in a circle where we can get that feeling of belongingness and we can be ourselves. I am no different than an extrovert when I am with my people. The people whom I relate with, the people with whom I have done deep talks and not just small ones, the people who know me from within, and the people who bring plants for me on my birthdays rather than expensive gifts :)

It's a very small example but I am writing this post to make a bigger point. And this point came from a real-life incidence when I saw a friend of mine letting someone else define everything for her.

No matter who has started this chain of definition for you but what matters is that you stop letting that happen to you. Don't let anyone else define your personality for you. And don't let yourself believe in someone’s else definition of yours. Just like a seed evolves so do we. Our personality is also evolving every single day and we should take the charge for telling someone whether we want to be called a plant, a bonsai, a slow climber, a big tree, a yellow fruit giver, or whatever. Moreover, we should have all the courage in the world to shut the people who tell about us in any other way.

I read it somewhere that the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. The more you own your definition of who you are, the more you will feel confident and gain high on self-respect. And the more you delay taking this charge, the more you become someone else and there would be a day when you start questioning WHO AM I REALLY?

Your heart and mind need to be sync with your true self and it's your soul's approval that should matter to you rather than anyone else.

And yes, I am not an introvert but I can’t do small talks. I am not an introvert but I am not always waiting for my turn to speak. I am happy to listen not to always respond but just to hear the other person out. I am not an introvert but I can be happy in my own company. I love talking but only when the conversation is heart-to-heart. And yes, I do choose the people I open my heart to.

I am currently reading a beautiful book 'Becoming Michelle Obama' and it's strengthening my belief of how important it is to define yourself and not let the world define you in any other way. It's such a genuine story of a girl who became the First Lady of the United States but always kept her individuality. Do read.

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