I have lately started observing the words I use while speaking with someone, writing about something or defining my life's goals. I noticed one major change. Nowadays, I quite often use the word 'empower' instead of the word 'support'. And as soon as I change it, I also ask whether what I am doing is really empowering someone or just supporting them?
Literally, the word 'empower' is defined as giving (someone) the authority or power to do something; make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights, whereas the word 'support' is defined as bear all or part of the weight of; hold up; give assistance to, especially financially.
If you notice, the literal meaning of the word 'empower' has a positive connotation whereas the word 'support' has a negative one. When you empower someone, you tell the other person that she/he is not dependent on you or anybody else for anything and they have all the power within themselves to achieve anything. Isn't it a good feeling to be conveyed to the other person? I could feel a positive feeling when I did something that empowered someone v/s when I supported someone.
It's been almost two years since I am running a community (JaipurCreativeCommune). This is my first-hand experience of running a community. That being said, I don't have a guidebook to run it in the best way. And I often question whether whatever we are doing as a community is empowering our members or are we becoming the support system that they would always need. To be frank, I did start with the second thought (supporting) but lately, I started thinking of developing this community (JCC) as a platform where we empower each other with whatever skills we have. Rather than saying, Hey! I will do this for you. Can we replace it by saying Hey! I will share this with you so that you can do it on your own. Both the above statements have a common feeling of giving which is a key element of the community. But in the first case, somebody is supporting a member who may reach out again for the support (not everyone would love to do it again and again) whereas in the second case, somebody is empowering a member not just with a skill to do something but also by conveying that they are capable to achieve anything. Here is how we as a community empowered the artisans and endeavour to continually do it.
I am also observing how using the word 'empower' change my feeling about something. So when I say, the money I earn supports me, it does give me a feeling of dependency which is a bit fearful for me. But when I say my money empowers me, then the whole feeling changes to a positive one. I feel that I am in the charge of supporting my money for it to empower me.
We often hear that money is what supports us but the relationship is mutual like any other relationships. Your money needs your support to empower you in the longer run. It's like a climber that could grow tall (empower) with just a supporting stick (support) provided during its initial years of growth. Once you have provided that support it will grow on its own with just a little bit of nurturing from your side. It's like any other relationship where initially you need a lot of time to know a person but once you have known them everything comes on auto-pilot mode with a little bit of nurturing..like a peck on your partner's head on his/her bad day. I am still striking a chord with it, but now I feel that I am consciously providing it with the support it needs from my side. I am seeing it as a partner who loves me a lot but also needs to be loved to have a healthy growing relationship. I can't just expect my money to empower me if I don't take time out to sit with it, talk with it, support it in growing, understand what works for us both, and dedicatedly spend my energy and time knowing it. And with this, I also suggest to you to start thinking of ways you can empower your money by supporting it now with a small SIP (you can start with just Rs. 500 a month). Believe me, this small saving can bring a substantial change to your confidence and life in general.
I also see these two words (empower and support) in terms of the companionship I am seeking. I always imagine my companion to be someone who would empower me and believes in me. Someone who would say, Hey! I am here for you whenever you need me but I know you have all the power in the world to attain your dreams/goals. We need to ask ourselves what kind of relationship we seek from our partner. Do I need a supporting partner or one who empowers me or maybe the one who balances both these aspects? I see a few couples competing with each other as if there is a race going on to prove who is better than the other. They are merely fighting for each other attention without focusing on their collective energy as one unit. They are neither supporting each other nor they are empowering each other.
If you are still reading this, then I have a confession to make. I am not sure whether this article justifies my conviction for the word 'empower', but I still wanted to pour my thoughts around this word. Over some time, I saw a big difference between the person who is empowered and one who is supported. I also don't deny that we all need a supporting figure in our life and the journey of empowerment starts with a little bit of support. For example, our parents support us with our education fee to empower us to become financially independent person. Imagine if they have to support you for the whole of your life and then imagine you being empowered by them to grow by yourself. I hope you get the difference.
I wish you take charge of your happiness, personal finance and life in totality. May the force be with you :)
Do leave your thoughts for this post. As I need some support to make me believe that I haven't written a weird confusing post ;)
Available for a chit-chat here.
PS: I would be happy to empower you with whatever knowledge I have in the area of 'personal finance'. Feel free to reach out.
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